DISHES OR CUDDLES..HMMM...

          well, my house is a complete disaster. Laundry is backed up, dishes are backed up, I haven't dusted or vacuumed in a few days, and to be totally honest..... I'm 100% ok with it!!!!! And let me elaborate on why. These chores, these daily, monotonous chores, will be something i will have to do for THE REST OF MY LIFE!!!!! (Unless of course, we strike it rich somehow and I decide to not be such a cheap ass and actually hire someone to do said chores....which I don't believe will ever actually happen.....unfortunately) So I'm not gonna hold my breath. I'll just accept that. Lol.
         I spend so much of my time doing everything to make sure Kevin will come home to a very clean house. So much time that, I'm ashamed to admit, Layla tends to get put on the back burner for most of the day. The other day she literally followed me around everywhere I went. I would leave the room just to turn off a light and she would be two steps behind me. And she would have her favorite book in her hand anywhere we went. I was so distracted trying to get things done and just kept telling her "hold just baby, Lemmie just finish this one thing." or "in a little bit Layla, mommie is almost done doing so and so".  At one point during the afternoon, while I was working on the kitchen, emptying the dishwasher, she came up to me, with her book, her blanket, and her sippy cup in hand. She THREW her book in the dishwasher spread her blanket on the floor and laid down with her cup.....in the middle of the floor!!!!! At that very moment, I completely broke. (typing this up right now has me in tears. I can barely see my screen. ANYWHO!)
          My poor baby girl, who is growing up so fast that it makes my head spin, had been begging to have my attention to read this damn book all day long. it would've taken me maybe 4 minutes to sit down with her and read it. but I just kept blowing her off, pushing her to the side, all I was concerned about was getting the house cleaned. And it hit me like a ton of bricks when she finally had had enough. I will NEVER get these times back. I will NEVER again experience something so simple as reading a book, this book that is so magical to her, at this age. She will never be a 21-month-old baby girl sprouting into toddlerhood, whose curiosity and imagination is just being able to shine through. The dishes, however, those will be the same for the next 70 years of my life. Rinse, wash, load, unload, dry, put away. There's nothing special about that. There's nothing about it that makes my heart feel warm. so I decided in that very moment- THIS SHIT CAN WAIT!!!!!!!!
          I immediately grabbed her book from the back of the dishwasher, picked my baby girl up off the floor with her snuggles (that's what we call her blanket in case u weren't aware, lol), and we went straight to the couch. I didn't even close the dishwasher. It's not like they were gonna jump out after all. :-)  My daughter is a sweet girl, very loving, however, she is NOT a cuddler! She likes her space, if she wants affection, she'll give ya a quick kiss then u better not touch her....at all. lol.  so we sat on the couch, and to my surprise, she cuddled up next to me so close that I could barely breathe. who the hell needs oxygen anyways, that shits overrated.
          We read that book from front to back I'm guessing 12 times. And I was beyond ok with that. At the end of the 13th time, she closed the book, leaned up and kissed me, said "Lalu momma.....nite nite", jumped off the couch, grabbed my hand and escorted me to her bed where she threw her book, her snuggles and tried to climb in. I tucked her in bed, kissed her forehead and went back into the kitchen, to finish up my task and BROKE DOWN IN TEARS.  After about a ten minute crying session because I was just so upset to know that I was beginning to become "that mom". you know the type- the mom that is more concerned with a clean spotless home, than a warm happy home.
          I vowed right then and there that I would never let this happen again. Who gives a shit if my house isn't spotless. my house is not in what most would consider acceptable for company. And if I had an unexpected visitor they would probably b shocked to see how I've let it become,  but you know what, I don't care. Layla and I have literally played all day since and colored and read, and  today we even MADE MOON DOUGH!!!!! Which ill post that "experience" soon. (I know I never did post the homemade dishwasher powder, I promise I still will. but this post was much more valuable to me.) Since that day with the book throwing incident, my house has kind of fallen apart, but my heart, on the other hand, my heart is thriving. my heart and I know Layla's as well, is full and happy. This has been a big eye opener for me. And I hope to maybe at least one reader it will be as well. Chores can wait, memories....won't....... God bless!!!!!

RECONNECTED TO SOCIETY

CONFESSION- I have been unable to access the internet for what feels like MONTHSSSSS. I know I know, its nowhere near that long, but me being a bit over dramatic is something you are all very aware of by now. However long it has really been though, is totally unimportant. Because this lack of communication with the "outside world" has made me realize IM TOTALLY ADDICTED TO SOCIAL MEDIA!!!!! Bleh..... no facebook + no blogs = no brain activity. Without the internet to keep me in the loop, I have felt like a damn cave woman. LOL. ANYWHO!!! I now have my internet back, so this Mommie is about to get some blog posts up!!!! First on the list- my homemade dishwasher powder! (Which by the way, IS AWESOME!!!)

GRRRR

Well, since I spent way too much time trying to get my page a little bit more gussied up, AND I accidentally just deleted an entire damn post I had been working on for about an hour and a half, I neglected to do my main task of the evening.....   I needed to make some dishwasher detergent.  so I'm gonna keep this short because now I'm freaking pissed off and just want to eat some Little Debbie's on the couch with my Munch, my angel baby, Layla. 

I  found a recipe for homemade dishwasher detergent, so I ran out and bought all of the ingredients.  Well, the few I didn't already have in my cabinet.  I really hate using all these toxic chemical cleaners in my house.  so I've been learning to switch everything over in the last almost 2 years.  I mainly use vinegar, baking soda, hydrogen peroxide, and rubbing alcohol.  Not only is it SOOOOOO much cheaper, but it's much healthier and much more environmentally friendly.  And one more thing.... it cleans a MILLION times better than any product that I have EVER purchased!!!!  With no headaches or coughing attacks from the harsh fumes.  But this recipe called for borax.  For some reason I've always been scared to even buy it, let alone use it.  (Like it was somehow more toxic than say... Lysol Kitchen spray.)  But I finally broke down and bought it.  So all in all, I spent less money on every ingredient in the recipe combined than what the small store brand box of pre-made detergent costs.  Oh and did I mention that this recipe will make at least TEN TIMES MORE than the pre-made?!!???  Sounds like a big win for Mommie all the way around.  I'll letcha know how it turns out tomorrow and give ya the recipe.  LOVE TO YOU ALL,   ADIOS!!  :)

VAPE LOVE

I AM IN LOVE WITH MY NEW VAPE PEN!!!! Ok, so, here's the deal- I hate smoking cigarettes, I'm so glad i made the decision to quit by switching to a vaporizer pen. Buuuuut I have a confession, I smoked a real cigarette today. Not because I wanted one, or felt the need to have one, but out of pure freaking curiosity. After not smoking for a couple of days (which I have NEVER done), I wanted to just see how it tasted, how it felt. Well, it tasted like rotten butthole, and it felt like I had just inhaled some sort of stabbing acid. (I dunno, that's the best description I got, so shoot me) ANYWHO ADHD, focus, stay with me.... I told you that to tell you all of this....   Yesterday I attempted to bling out my original Vape. (The one that the little hussy sold me without telling me it was basically a complete and total piece of shit. The battery never lasted more than a cpl hours at best, the tank was a disposable, which I specifically told her I did not want, and it always tasted like burnt metal) Well, I ran out of rhinestones, so the end result was just pure, ugly, messy, cheap looking chaos.....                   

 

            (Pic 1)

But oh well. it was a learning experiment. i learned to always make sure i have enough supplies before i start a project…...lol.  So while I was out and about yesterday (crashing my sister Amy's lunch with Trena after my Dr appt) my newly decorated, although not very well, Vape Pen DIED!!!!! it freaking died!!!!!!! I was so upset, no i was PISSED!!!!!!  Especially bc i had just made sure it was fully charged before i left my house just a few short hours before. I had only hit it a few times! POS. So after defusing about 12 bombs in Babies-R-Us aka, an exhausted toddler that was way overdue for a nap and pissed BC the Minnie Mouse shoes she found wouldn't fit on her adorable overly fat feet and bc she wasn't allowed to get into the crib with the Minnie Mouse bedding, oh annnnd because i wouldn't let her play with the Minnie Mouse LAMP the store had just so strategically placed at toddlr eye level (…...fking aholes…..) are you seeing the common factor here….. MINNIE MOUSE!!!!!! FREAKING MINNIE MOUSE IS TURNING MY SWEET ANGEL BABY INTO A DEVIL CHILD. BAHAHAHAHA. well, I totally missed out on the fun of helping my Sis get registered for her baby shower :'(  When i walked out of the doors of that place, that evil place that i will never bring a child to ever again…….  all i could think was “I need a F**KING cigarette or a drink!!!!!!!”  Well, since I'm a recovering addict/alcoholic, I don't drink, and I damn sure am not gonna start while I have my kid with me driving. BC I'm just responsible like that. :-P   I had made it this far without a cig and i didn't want to fail now, so I tried to recharge my Vape..... Nothing!!!!   Ugggh, so I drove to a gas station, Went to the counter and hung my head when I asked for a pack of my favorite menthols. I was literally buying a pack of cigarettes. Well, before I handed him my money I snapped back into reality and ran out of the store. (Pretty sure he thought I may have been a crack head, but its cool. Cuz I acted like one. Hey, I'm still new at this non smoking thing, after 16 years gimmie a damn break ppl, Lol). I then called the first Vape Lounge that my phone had pulled up, and drove straight there. As much as I didn't want to, out of frustration because my first one wasn't even ONE month old and bc im just such a cheap ass, I needed to buy an entirely new vaporizer pen. And let me tell you, out of the all the Vape Lounges I've been inside, this was the best!!!! (all four of them!!!   Lol, that's actually a lot for me BC I dont like new things, or places. Once I find a spot, that's it, I go nowhere else. I have one main gas station, one main grocery, well u get the point) There were all types of customers in there, not just the typical stoner burnouts that I've seen everywhere else. (I say this as an ex- typical stoner burnout, so im not knockin 'em, by any means. you smoke your pot buddy, just don't blow it my way please. not only will i break out in hives, no joke huge itchy nasty gross hives, but it just ain't my thang these days, ya dig?!) this was also Including the lounges I've attempted to go into, but was just too turned off by the feel. so, been in four, scoped out around 12. anywho…... So the guy was uber helpful, so non judgmental and patient BC I can be a very hard one to explain things too at times. (holy shit, did i REALLY just say “uber” ????   what the hell, gross……. ) Did I ever mention I have SEVERE ADHD? and im off my meds…...lol…….  So long story short..... (Haha, riggghht) Thanks to this awesome dude-whose name i cannot remember to save my life- at MadVapes in Buford, Ga. I now have a new upgraded pretty pink Vaporizer Pen. (sorry awesome dude, but you may remember me, im the one with crazy 2 year old baby girl running around, ill give you your proper thanks when you call me out. lol) And she's (yep, my Vape is a girl too, duh!) she’s now in the process of getting blinged out herself. (One step at a time tho, I need to reorder my rhinestones and skull decals). oh and i have a new photo editor so i wanted to play around a lil, so the pics may be a lil off…… but here she was…...

(pic 2)  

and here is the start of her blingin’

(pic 3)

i used one earring from an old favorite pair of mine that just always killed my ears, some needle nose pliers, and a couple of teeny tiny rubber hair bands that i stole from Layla. (this was a last minute thing, yall, so i don't suggest using the hair bands, bc they're about to snap already. I'll go buy a rubber O-Ring from the hardware store tom.) well, needless to say, im now hooked on Vaping. not like hooked like i “need” it, but bc i like it. i like the fact I'm not smoking cigarettes, i like the flavors, i like the look of them, they're kinda fun. i want to save up for a few more, start a collection. of course ill be buying only from MadVapes. and i think i may have a new hobby…..buying vaporizers, and blingin em out, to make them just as obnoxious as me!!!!  ;)  yall have a blessed day.